October 3rd, 2005
Hipsters
With an introduction by Amy.
This preliminary statement is meant to inform readers on the nature of the subject matter discussed in this blog post. I do not claim to be an expert on the etiology of Identity disorders (at least not until I complete my clinical training and receive my doctorate). Regardless, knowledge of the hipster culture can be gained from one's own experience of living within this counterculture. From attending the public and domestic spheres of hipster life (bars, clubs, restaurants, live music, venues, subways and galleries) one can formulate their own thesis on the subject of 'hipster socialization.' It is a new method of sociological experimentation. The dictionary defines the hipster as someone who rejects the established culture; advocates extreme liberalism in politics and lifestyle.
It is synonymous to the hippie or flower child from the 1960s counterculture. Some would advocate that the hipster stands for freedom of expression or that the hipster has developed an identity that is unique and burning with inner passions of creativity and self-expression. After all that is what a hipster means right? Someone who rejects mainstream culture and chooses to rebel against the social norms of his time by acquiring a distinct identity that he/she believes to be unprecedented. An identity that makes him/her a true 'individual', correct? Even someone who has not read a word of Plato or Aristotle would see the fallacies in such an argument. The hipster is not a stage of enlightenment, nor is it a radical personal statement. It is my argument that the hipster is, figuratively speaking, a bullshit lie. It is a state of mind in which the individual is absorbed
in an extreme state of self-deception and fails to construct a strong personal identity. Despite the cliché hipster claims of I am original
or I stand alone in the world through my dress/speech/actions, and thus I am unique
, they adapt the same fashion styles (i.e. vintage shirts, the anorexic boy look in tight jeans, bug eye sunglasses, the bed head haircuts), music (i.e. anything retro, because artistic originality has faded away in this scene). Walk down any street on the Lower East Side or take a stroll on Bedford Ave and you will see, hear, and probably smell enough evidence to support the premises of my argument on the nature of the modern day hipster.
–Amy Fayer
Are you a hipster?
They take over your neighborhood and cause the rent to go up, more liberal art galleries to open, and resturants that serve more tofu and charge you an arm and a leg for it. They are a diseased people called the hipster. It is a virus that will spread to anyone with a lack of identity, feeding on the weak minded searching to know who they are. They have become the authority on what is cool. Resfuseing to join the mainstream by developing their own mainstream. Avoiding this virus is a key to survival. Here are seven ways to stay sane.
1. You have a job. Most hipsters believe that capitalism has exploited mankind and is becoming rich off of it. It has became an authoritarian system that controls the masses. Hipsters preach this to be true and in so choose to take the nonconformist strategy by not joining americas capitalistic work force and stay home and create art. By doing so, they make their statement and are adored by the hipster community. So then how do hipsters fund the expensive apartments and fancy clothes because they refuse to work you may ask? Trust Funds that were paid for by mommy and daddy's hard work for an authoritarian capitalism.
2. You bathe more often. Most hipster find that bathing is less stylish. By not bathing they make the statement that they are all natural and that deoderant is used to form social clases. In turn giving them a natural oder of beer and cigarettes. Also they are under the impression that oily hair styles better in their sleep giving them that incredible popular bed head look. Look like you have been partying for months is important in order to be accepting the the hipster community.
3. Admit how much you really
paid for your cool vintage shirt. With the trend of vintage clothing, a lot of top designers are copying the styles of the decades that have passed way before the hipster was ever old enough to utter the word “deck.” Since hipster have cleaned out just about every Salvation Army on the planet a demand for these vintage clothes grows causing them to seek the more expensive designers and supporting the capitalistic army of economics. Since the hipster refuses to move forward towards a future and remain in the past they must wear these vintage clothes, filling up the Urban Outfiters from wall to wall. But be careful, dont catch them there. They wont be able to lie and say Oh you like it, it was my dads back in 1974.
4. You understand that the 70s and 80s where a decade not a fashion statement. A hipster finds it interesting to remain out of the norm by wearing clothes society has deemed ugley so many years ago. By giving very little thought to what to wear and making themselves look like complete fools, they have established that they look cool. But one thing can be learned by this state of mind, that we should not care about what people think of how we look, especially at job interviews.
5. You are vegan or vegetarian to make a statement, not because its trend. Just because vegetarian restaurants sprout up on your block or you like to pretend you are poor when your vintage clothes obviously say your not, is no excuse to turn to an alternate nutrition lifestyle. The hipster claims that the horrible slaughter of animals is wrong and therefore they choose these lifestyles. But if you do your research, you will learn that red meat causes body oder and, well, just take a whiff of a hipster.
6. You are a democrat or a communist becasue you believe in it. Most hipsters instantly become a democrat and the more extreme hipsters tend to become communists. They are romanticized by their philosiphy for various reasons, (1) because democrats are liberal and not the majority, this makes it so you are not a conformist, (2) becasue of the parties philosphy on capitailism (see #1).
7. You can be found at more than 4 places. Thats right, the hipster has only 4 destinations it can be found in NYC. (1) the L train (2) the Lower East Side (3) Bedford Ave. and (4) Whole Foods. So why do hipster bother having cell phones when you can find whoever you are looking for in such a small 20 mile radius.
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